I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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