with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
