I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
