hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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