I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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