just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Oh god it's open bar.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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