Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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