Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
