i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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