Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
