Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
vagina is talking i cant
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Randomize
