I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
