It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
