you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
