trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
