They should really pass out barf bags in church
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
