You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
