if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize