my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
