he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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