Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
