and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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