im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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