The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
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I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
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This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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