I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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