So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
