So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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