hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize