eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That's how pantless uber rides happen
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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