College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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