I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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