thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
