OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
smell my finger.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
