New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
