Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
You have to summon your inner elephant
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
