Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
