i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
