just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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