hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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