3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize