After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
