another moral hangover. fuck.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
