...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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