Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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