yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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