You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
