Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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