There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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