is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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