what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
