what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
