Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
