my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
