Just mADE A PArabola og urine
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I cut my penus on the lid.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Randomize
