I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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