I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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