Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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