i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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