no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
