based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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