I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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