I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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