I wanna bring you to show and tell
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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