i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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