dude i'm inner monologue high
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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