So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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