Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
