It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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