took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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